Adieu

Time to close this virtual chapter.
Thanks for reading.
Love & light on your journey.
Cleveland Yogini signing off,
c.

rustbelt playground

i never expected

leaning on a snow fence

alongside a highway

staring at that water

to be so comfortable

la-z-boy comfortable

traveling at breakneck speed

my head much too close to the ground

laughing to pee

your rocket booster

i tip off at the last second

careening screaming you take the jump

jumping out of the car

screaming

arms waving to raise majesty

abandoned riverfront

thousands of sea gulls

get the last laugh

temporary campfires riverside in the dark

beauty doesnt always have meaning

tell of the contradictions you see

a dying city

a former powerhouse of magnificence

kenya doesnt understand

(i'll tell you what beauty is

its in the eye of the beholder)

its what happens when he builds me a snowman

hot chocolate in the garden

arms sore from snowball fights

perfect placement

head whips forward

alley cats cheer

i gotta remember to run

zig

zag

snow down the collar retaliation

retreat!

the church will provide refuge

but these stone city churches

are long since locked

saving nobody

yoga in the soft snow

snow pants padded

learning to roll

with it

free handstands

oh sorry, i was looking at that dog

you did the Iditarod proud

mush!

ease back

praise the winter sky

tree silhouettes

with song

1am sitting in (how many chairs?)

adirondack chairs

stacked on top of kitchen tables

watching it softly snow on

christmas story land

urban dreaming

organic produce

composting

mixed with

weekly pesticide application

wasted water

dichotomy

i could care less

if my neighbor is

an 83 year old

venture capitalist

with a tux wearing butler

and a hall of armor

a study in contrasts

give me reclaimed grit anyday

kiss my fingertips

in the wee hours

The Sunrise Ruby

In the early morning hour,
just before dawn, lover and beloved wake
and take a drink of water.

She asks, "Do you love me or yourself more?
Really, tell the absolute truth."

He says, "There's nothing left of me.
I'm like a ruby held up to sunrise.
Is it still a stone, or a world
made of redness? It has no resistance
to sunlight."

This is how Hallaj said, I am God,
and told the truth!

The ruby and the sunrise are one.
Be courageous and discipline yourself.

Completely become hearing and ear,
and wear this sun-ruby as an earring.

Work. Keep digging your well.
Don't think about getting off from work.
Water is there somewhere.

Submit to a daily practice.
Your loyalty to that
is a ring on the door.

Keep knocking, and the joy inside
will eventually open a window
and look out to see who's there.

-Rumi

joy truly is the greatest aphrodisiac,
c.

Give up what no longer works.

"Sometimes snakes can't slough. They can't burst their old skin. Then they go sick and die inside the old skin, and nobody ever sees the new pattern. You need a real desperate recklessness to burst your old skin at last. You simply don't care when happens to you, so long as you get out." -D.H. Lawrence

tonight tonight

i learned a lot this week... a lot about my body, about healing it and nurturing it. a lot about patience as i work with an injury that has dramatically altered my yoga practice as i know it... temporarily, i hope. i marvel as it is already strengthening other parts of me, physical and beyond. perhaps sometimes the limitation does become the strength. my perceived physical & emotional injuries are surely blessings because the doorways opening up are taking me even deeper. i learned a lot about the ways i hold myself back, the excuses i make, and the stories i tell myself. i rid myself of the lies ive been feeding myself for quite some time and finally, truly tuned into my heart. rediscovering what it's like to live from this place of joy, intensity, beauty, and synchronicity that i had lost has truly brought me back home to myself. i was reminded of the important lesson that our experience is defined by what we choose to see. the past is now, the pain is now, the beauty is now, the great big love is now, it's all right here, right now. being present.

mom was right (again). there is nothing like a man that can dance. tonight i danced the night away with the best partner ive had since my father. he danced me all across the floor, he twirled me, he spun me, he moved me, he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, he bowed to my curtsy after every song... and as my hair spun out behind me during the last song of the night, i tuned in to hear frank singing... "if i can, make it there, i'll make it, anywhere.... it's up to you New York, New Yoooooork..." tears leaking, heart open, i realized that im done analyzing it. this scorecard i've been carrying around doesn't matter. i don't care if i made it there. because i'm here. and i wouldn't be where i am, right here, right now, without all of the very necessary, very painful experiences of this previous year. between songs, my dance partner with Down's Syndrome shared with me his dream to be on Dancing with the Stars. i learned so much from his lead. god in oh so many forms.

i knew i would arrive at this place of understanding eventually, but it took a while for me to get here on my own & i doubted frequently along the way. all of it had to happen exactly as it happened. much gratitude for all of it. just in time for a gleaming bright 2010... out with the old...

hey god, i'm ready.
c.

(don't) take your seat

as i struggle with not reacting to the latest non-funny bit of lila in my life & turn another corner on the path, the first piece of yoga advice i stumble upon is this - twice in 1 day from different sources:

"The obstacles in our path are the path. Every time we stretch beyond our resistance and our fear, we make a choice for life. And every time we choose life, fear loses its grip on us. We all know more than we think we do and we are stronger than we believe ourselves to be. We come to our mats, and to our lives, to learn by going where we have to go." - Rolf Gates

changin' habits

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson

I walk, down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.