filed under inspiration

stopped at the library today & found nothing that i wanted except for that which i didnt know i wanted - an amazing book called The Inner Life of Asanas, excerpted articles from a yoga mag i'd never heard of. allow me to introduce you to ascent magazine and swami lalitananda:

she practices a style called the Hidden Language approach to Hatha Yoga. sitting around with a journal evaluating the non-physical aspects of various asanas doesnt sound entirely appealing to me but the points she brings up about the asanas are so insightful. so amazing. such ah-ha! nothing like a speeding train to the next level. sweet!

some of what i caught in just a few short pages of her book...

we write to chart our journey of learning. welcome to my blog! (and the best - most humbling - part for this author, is believing i have an epiphany, only to scroll back & find i had the same one a few years prior... oh.)

but here is where the author really became my hero. she's already achieved something i've dreamed of... she opened a non-profit yoga center (radha yoga) in the scary, seedy "downtown eastside" area of vancouver. (who knew canada had ghettos... ;) that now also includes a vegan restaurant. always been my personal belief/motivation that rough urban neighborhoods & their residents need studios much more than exurban communities (all the same really?)

visual inspiration:







































verbal inspiration:

"You learn to trust your body and establish a firm foundation in your own intelligence. You become straight, able to stand alone, and willing to take a stand for what you know. Learning to support yourself without depending on an outside authority brings a sense of balance and power... It can be quite a relief to know that there is a way back to centre & that you can find your way.
The process is like climbing a mountain. It takes time and effort and means facing the challenges. But as you climb you are rewarded with a wider perspective, greater vision and understanding. You can also see where you've come from and begin to acknowledge with gratitude the outstanding people who have helped you on your way, those who stand above the ordinary like mountains on the plains.
What is observed changes what is.
The Light is available to everyone.
We can become aware that our bodies are vehicles for the Light, a Light that reveals obstacles & also dissolves them.
A promise manifests."

see why i love this lady already?

with love & gratitude to all my teachers who saw the Light in me long before i experienced it in myself,
c.

about last night...

sitting on the cushion til 4am...
yeah...
that didnt go so well...
practice practice practice!
c.

(baby you can) drive my car

title reflects new theme song assigned to my 'sitcom life' by a friend i had lunch w/ today... lest it be misconstrued, the indication is that i am giving over the driving...

other takeaway message: pema chodron's reminder to respect the dons - dons being the obstacles or (perceived) negative experiences that pop up with much to show one. made me laugh - want to experience dons - get a job in any city hall! ;)

dinner with another friend (why do all western social functions center around food? i cant eat another bite!) his advice regarding a situation: it exists for a reason. figure out why. gee, thanks!

thought for the night: im tired of waving goodbye and ready to start saying hello!

last night's dinner party at a friend's turned into an international dance party and i got home after 3am. (a. how was the majority of the party going to be at work in 4 hours from when i left? b. how much am i missing out on by function of having a normal day job when i would normally be absent from such tuesday night fun? sheesh.) i met a guy from Tunisia (sounds kinda like Indonesia) does anyone know where this is? my embarrassment at not knowing was brushed aside with a declaration that all westerns have horrible geography skills... b/c that made me feel *better*...

the level of childlike conversational comparison is amusing to me... overheard: so it's in the corner of africa, but you dont look african. is it african? its next to sicily, but you dont look italian. are you hindu? muslim? please check a box, right? ugh. he was muslim, spoke arabic. and no, the women don't wear burkas - that one was mine.

i decided that if i have such energy for dancing, i should have it for mediating, so i plan to park it on that cushion tonite and see what comes up.

i was complaining to someone today that my thoughts arent innovative... that i recycle ideas, yes, perhaps gradually make them better each time, but that none of it feels really new or creative to me. ironic enough, one of the first things you're taught as a yoga teacher is that none of it is yours, that you own none of it, that its all been said a million times before you, and you best press that forehead to the ground in gratitude for the teachings and give the translation your best shot while understanding you will add your own personal bent to whatever you teach. and yet it was a relief to me to have my teacher say: "when you see something you like, imitate it." yet im not totally satisfied with this; still turning it over.

where'd all this ego come from?
c.

look ma, no feet!

What I Did On My Summer Vacation...
figured out side crow!
july 4th; finally free; voila!
years of practice - same goes for working with an emotional idea as a physical asana - continually trying - falling every single time - still trying - eventual success
years of practice & still so far to go
humbly i bow,
c.

"in a gentle way, you can shake the world." -Gandhi















you know you would do the same thing if you encountered a perfectly good rock...

nature appreciation at 80mph

i almost hit this on the way home from buffalo tonite
















i surely would have driven off the road, instead of almost, as it were, had it looked like this...















it was standing watching traffic go by. the colors in its plumage (meet my wanna-be-sr. citizen-Audubon personality) are so amazing. truly spectacular... though i could do w/o that red gizzard thingie. ick.
c.

p.s. An Open Letter to the PA DOT,
I am learning patience. I appreciate tests of my patience such as yours and I thank you for only having the westbound lanes of 90 down to one lane on my way home, b/c had you compressed eastbound traffic when I had somewhere to be, I might have joined the ranks of psychotic shoulder-driving madmen. However, I just have one question regarding the single lane that took me 2 hours of painful stop and go traffic to navigate with no apparent reason: WHY?

p.p.s. twofold props of the day go out to the semi truck driver who kept me apprised of the traffic situation as it came in over his 2-way. being topless in bumper to bumper has its benefits. and to the harley rider i leapfrogged with most of the way home, who i lost when he pulled over to make sure a broken down biker was ok. not only was his selfless act commendable in its own right, but it also doubly inspired me. cool.

sporadic transmutation

WHEW! Kids, it's all so good.

perhaps it's summer evenings, spent whiling away the time chatting w/ dear ones and wandering aimlessly, breeze caressing. ah, finally.

or perhaps it's amazing yoga community, this amazing sangha wherever i go... offering unsolicited assistance simply b/c im a yogi. awe.

random interlude: check this hook in my room... what's with the last monkey...?















this post is dedicated to jo... if she's out there reading this... to prove to her that it still happens to me too - and that i never made her cry on purpose. xoxo

went to an amazing class tonite, complete with powerful, freakishly relevant theme. call it a distraction if you must, but theme is necessity for me. it's THE POINT. gotta love those themes that hit you right in the heart, themes of the how-does-she-know-to-say-that??? variety, making you (almost) catch your breath b/c it's speaking exactly to where you are, to what you've been turning over within yourself, and you don't know whether to laugh or bawl... so you do a bit of both until you get a grip on the emotional drama and settle in... to the breath. ah, welcome to class. my guess is it's likely not the teacher, but the Teacher, really driving those messages home.

so i wanted to share, b/c tonite's theme is a continuation on the 'act, don't react' theme.

mental limitations that we use to convince ourselves who and what we are... what yoga poses we're good at... the types of people we are... casting in stone our strengths and our weaknesses. labeling a situation and deciding what the outcome will be before it occurs.

let yourself expose and drop the mental dramas. stop wrapping up in that warm blanket of fear and stop holding yourself back. afraid of the light... not the darkness. as ive learned over the past few months, it doesnt matter how hard you hold on, how much you want to affect the outcome, or how much time & energy you expend freaking out - you dont control this ride and it's gonna turn out exactly how it will. save that energy - turn it inward.
let it unfold.
get out of the way.
c.

life rule #41: live like you're on vacation

staying at a b&b (but really no second b) in buffalo. thanking god for the small luxuries i am able to afford myself that keep me grateful and cared for - pampered, more like. working a few days and then home for the holiday and a few much needed weeks of r&r before moving back up here for good. im foregoing that amazing bathtub shown above to get out some of these thoughts. guess that's what happens when an introspective person is left mostly alone in a strange city w/ their thoughts. randoms, in no specific order:
- working in the city process, things never go as originally planned - and you just have to roll onward. it's all good practice in malleability.
- act, dont react. so much easier said than done. watch the emotional, reactionary storm pass like clouds, not seizing on any one thought or letting any one reaction unravel you.
- no matter how many times i practice, i am still not adept at knowing specifically what i need - beyond a need to be on the mat as much as realistically possible. climbing onto the mat after work, in a warm sunny window, glorious breeze caressing, city life & traffic passing by beneath my window, literally being IN the flow. hello, my Beloved! witnessing the body crack and creak and release subconscious stress. neck let go like at the chiropractor. sighing and mmmm-ing my way through my practice, in that warm beam of sunlight, while van morrison sings, this must be what paradise is like. mm-hmm. so blessed.
- i fear that people generally like to be unhappy, either through habit or through fear of the unknown. why choose something mediocre when what lies beyond is unknown and could so far surpass expectations? please take the risk. please don't settle. please shun apathy.
and live like you're on vacation. ;)

i like those conversational reminders - those beads that someone says that stick with you - especially when that memory is jogged by something a few months later. someone said this to me a few months back that unbeknownst to me at the time, planted formative seeds for my move:
'to those who are given much, much is expected and sometimes the courage to leave is needed.' - joseph campbell, hero's journey

i think i blogged that at the time, this served to remind me of my favorite joseph campbell loveli-ism: "follow your bliss."

(which, incidentally, i then scrawled across my bathroom mirror in eyeliner pencil. feeling silly, but like i should, i left it there when i had a showing. it made the girl bawl. she bought my house... interesting flowchart, eh?)

today, first day lapsed, this was my horoscope:
"...meditations on these subjects will inspire you to overcome
any laziness you might have about cultivating happiness. It's a perfect
time for you to attempt this monumental accomplishment, you see.
You're at a potential turning point, a time when you could get in the habit of treating your hero's journey as if it were an ever-evolving celebration."

wanna come to my party? you're invited. bring your own happiness recipe. we can share. unabashed.
c.