that's right kids - i haven't even STARTED the cleanse yet and i'm freaking out! i get the supplements from clyde tonite so im starting tomorrow. i feel like a crash dieter - tomorrow, always tomorrow (i thought i was starting yesterday.)
cleanse = 1 week of vegan, 1 week of raw, 3-5 day juice fast, 1 week of vegan.
perhaps i wont do it and i will just read kate's fantastic blog about her continuing experience.
kidding.
sort of.
she also provides good cleanse background, so i'm gonna skip that.
i envy kate. she intelligently took time off work and has a mate who vowed never to leave. it would be nice to have a trapped male forced to withstand my laying on the kitchen floor clutching my stomach, yelling for food... or better yet, someone to cook for me! i hope my amazing supportive friends continue to take my calls. it must come from being the baby in such an enormous family that i feel like i need to talk to everyone about everything and get input from any random person walking by, regarding whatever i'm contending with at any given moment. perhaps i will work on that while im starving to death. seriously, given all the feedback i seek, i generally don't like to accept help from other people and am always accused of 'trying to do everything myself.' i have a sneaking suspicion that this Glorious Personality Trait will be forced to contend with itself in later cleanse chapters, as i may need to lean on friends to get through this. stay tuned!!!
i feel like i'm getting ready for a medical procedure - only i know it's gonna last a lot longer than a few hours, my mom isn't going to be there to drive me home, and i won't get any drugs. i did what any sane person would do, i took my lunch and went to nature's bin where i proceeded to spend $60+ on seemingly just vegetables. i too had "stocking my pantry" angst at how much things cost. yet starvation fear is very much present in me too, as i paid $10 for raw almond butter b/c i figured it has enough of all nutritional categories that i might be able to subsist on just that during raw time. ;)
did someone say sane? is sane driving back to work on the Shoreway bridge, windows down, screaming affirmations like I Am Whole!, I Am Healthy!, I Am Balanced! at the top of my lungs...? i'm just asking. i've never been good at discerning crazy from not.
today i've even managed to have angst regarding the number of minutes in a given day. by the time i leave work and go to yoga class, i won't get home til around 8pm. who wants to cook then??? i best stop whining, i've committed.
most important thing to remember - based on amazing conversation w/ my 2 amazing friends last night (we 3 comprise the Trinity) - the mind creates obstacles. constantly. it will get you coming or going, whether you do or you don't - so don't let it get you! call its bluff! silence the mind!
remember that you are God,
c.
Monday, March 31, 2008
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