Wednesday, October 28, 2009

















Wiley


Forest City blues
on a school night
weeknight crooning
sweet medicine
heals the heart

Muse walks in
takes a stool at the bar
next to the leashed cat
orders a drink
smooth scotch

strangers howling like
owwwwoooooooooooooo
London Werewolves
Reiki Lullabye
Cleveland Love Song

illustrating the many
shades of gray
"if Picasso had a Gray Period,
it would have happened
in Cleveland"

gray:
the indistinguishable line between
Lake
Shoreway
and sky

a 6-piece band
been there
done that
with 2 of 'em
Welcome Home, baby!

i don't remember
where we've met
but i always know
never forget name or face
or place

God Bless 'Em!
French Quarter calling
it's ok
it's after 9
my minutes are free

your bluesy trumpet of
Mark Twain's ghost
makes me want to get naked
naked inverted human pyramids
kinda naked

intuitively understanding
women balance with the moon
men draw strength from the sun
his corona
shines all over my body

like a flip book
Kerouac
Youngstown
blue flames
dance before my eyes

legacies of passion and labor
Train Avenue shortcuts
sundering is my past
unity my future
body grooves

energy in that old bar
flows apart
ebbs together
new friends
take reticent leave



No Matter

Monday night magic
consistently proves
the importance of spending weekends
resting up for weeknights

she sang those blues like nothin'
a mix of Ella and Janis and...
Robert Plant
soul sings & nerves dance

you came home in the morning
that's not a shock
i wonder if it was
when your key didn't fit in the lock!

your picture made my stomach turn
gleefully
love letters accidentally found
made me laugh out loud

the sense of coming home
to myself
how do you live
with yourself?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

scaredy-cat

in celebration of scary things this week, download this podcast from The Interdependence Project in NYC - No Fear of Fear. i loved his discussion of Rinpoche's categorizations of fear & how we react. let it serve as a reminder that we're all One... as so fantastically expressed here.
be brave! be courageous!
c.

Monday, October 26, 2009

house in the woods
















i stumbled upon it deep in the woods as i rounded a curve in the path
miles from any road or neighbor
stone walls chimney & brick well remained
inhabitants long since having departed
sitting in front of the hearth
pondering the silence of the woods
what life and love were celebrated here?
what dreams promises and prayers were whispered in this place?
[a snarky blue jay answered me with its laughing call
reminding me that all of this temporal world fades away]

gaze straight ahead














Beginning Anew by Thich Nhat Hanh
"Beginning anew means being determined not to repeat the negative things we have done in the past. A new era begins when we commit ourselves to living in mindfulness. When we vow to ourselves, "I am determined not to behave as I did in the past," transformation occurs immediately."

last week's class focus on choices took me on a wild ride. if you missed it live and in person, join me as i re-visit... i promise incomplete sentence structure & a constant variation between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. ;) be warned that it gets harsh. recall that this is my own repository of thought progression. i make it public hoping but not promising that... may it be of benefit.

it begins by showing up. *deep breath* by getting present in this very moment. making a conscious decision to SHOW UP & bring all parts of you HERE, including the parts of you stuck in past/future thoughts, the parts of your brain still engaging in that conversation you just had or WANT to have...

tune in to the breath. the breath acts as the doorway to bring you to this very moment.

harnessing all of ourselves sets the mindful stage for our practice... allowing space to look at those things we dont want to, to face what we dont necessarily want to see or acknowledge, and also to get to know the beautiful bits, the juicy parts, the glowing life that makes us each unique.

showing up & bringing ALL of ourselves - our junk, our skills & talents, are inherent goodness - is what creates the sangha or spiritual community. a group of like-minded people, gathering together to sort out this thing called life, and offer support to one another on our journeys.

when we live in our truth, we start trusting ourselves. when we live from this place, we trust that we are doing our best... and so we are able to trust that we are making the best choices we know how, moment to moment. living, breathing, & functioning from this place allows us to trust that there are no right or wrong decisions. regret & remorse vanish, replaced with forgiveness ("there is a lot of freedom in forgiveness" - Cheyne) and acceptance.

life is a series of choices. we don't suddenly find ourselves in poor health, overweight, in debt, or having broken the fidelity in our own relationships or not having honored the commitments another has made in theirs. besides lottery winners, most of the envied, successful, healthy, happily-married people we encounter have not landed there simply by luck. regardless of your reality, i'm willing to bet you worked quite diligently to get there - rather you were mindful of your actions or not. society often extols the good life while ignoring the work it takes, & then lets lets us off the hook for our circumstances, failing to remind us that most often it was a series of choices that got us to the place where life is no longer bearable. the teachings gently guide us back to the true path, and our sangha stands witness, as we set about making better choices that will allow our life situations to again be breathe-able.

the beauty is inherent. we have the option - at any moment - to show up and make our best choice. this realization is not always easy, not always pleasant... but the rewards are infinite.

talking about this for over a week carried my own private mental evaluation from a macro level to the subtle layers. what started out as did i make the right choice about life decisions... moving, relationships, work... landed me in the present moment... and i started to directly experience how the thoughts i choose to think, the words i choose to say, the moment-to-moment actions i choose to take, immediately define my experience... and the effect my momentary choices combine to have on my mood, my energy, my next thought. my mind is like a muddy field after a truck pull, so criss-crossed with the tracks of habitual samskaras. i see the path forward and it is both gradual & crystal clear. but i'm rooted HERE, NOW & that's enough.

Gurudev: i begrudingly admit that as always you are correct: our troubles are blessings.
c.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

speaking my peace















i wanted her to go away. i thought about leaving. neither happened.
i didn't want to reach out to her, yet i made a conscious decision to engage. afterward, she went on her way & i forgot the encounter. she did not. reportedly, it changed her course. her thankful acknowledgment caused a ripple through my world, making others privy to what happened - & they expressed how this big fat happiness ripple, that i was being credited with starting, had affected them.
they sought my reaction, my story about what happened during this brief interaction between strangers, but i remained silent as i wrestled with the fact that i had NOT wanted to reach out, that i had desired to be selfish and remain enmeshed in my own experience, rather that widening my peace (her word) to include her in it. surely my hesitancy couldn't create something as beautiful as that which she was describing.
i needed to determine if my reservation mattered? did it dull the effect? was the positive end result marred by my initial negative thought?
and honestly, i was a bit unsure of what i was hearing: i could live in my peace and others profoundly experienced it just by coming into contact with me. that's the stuff of gandhi-ji. surely not me?
i never gave those people the details they wanted, but ive experienced that it is possible to act from a place beyond those sticky, intense emotions, as yoga disciplines us to do.
this time i was blessed with seeing the ripple that happens when i reach beyond myself, when i make the right choice regardless of the thought process that proceeds it, when i let the light shine, when i ignore the desire not to do so and do it anyways.
fun.
c.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

solid gold dharma





















Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings on the 5 Mindfulness Trainings

The First Mindfulness Training
Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.

The Second Mindfulness Training
Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I vow to cultivate loving kindness and learn ways to work for the well being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I vow to practice generosity by sharing my time, energy and material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.

The Third Mindfulness Training
Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility and learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families and society. I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment. To preserve the happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.

The Fourth Mindfulness Training
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I vow to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I vow to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

The Fifth Mindfulness Training
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking and consuming. I vow to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger and confusion in myself and in society by practicing a diet for myself and for society. I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

indian summer

















watching it Fall
ladybug camouflaged on my mat
directly beneath me
teaches mindfulness of body
during practice
her relative hitches a ride on my shoulder
being warmed by the sun
we hike through the noisy forest
amongst the crashing leaves
skittering chipmunks
gurgling creek
Nature's Playlist
hit Repeat
i run to and fro
trying to catch the falling leaves
a whisper to stop grasping
i still
a yellow leaf lands in my hair
I Am Here.
i drive those stomach-dropping hills
screaming with glee
leaves fall
into the car
reminding me

when i stop running
i arrive

when i quit grasping
i receive

when i cease questioning
i understand.

Monday, October 19, 2009

hello.

when i walk down the street
smile & say hello
as you pass me by
i'm really rolling wildly in the grass
ecstatically laughing while
my fingertips are digging into the earth
feeling the dappled sunlight
smelling the changing seasons
tasting the sweetness of the air
as my spine courses energy up my body
almost exploding off the top of my head.
oh, hello.
c.

betty crocker of the new millenium














for mom & the recipe archieves...
my adaptation of Betty's Crocker's Apple Crisp recipe, after i verified that my book omitted the oats that are included in the online version. (how can one omit the oats???) i think this is how recipes should be written. maybe one day i will compile such a book.

Mindful Apple Crisp

4 medium hand-picked-by-mom & gram cooking apples
3 heavy drizzles of agave nectar
slightly more than 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
slightly more than 1/2 cup oats
slightly less than 1/3 cup softened soy-free Earth Balance
cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, nutmeg & ginger to taste
(take it easy when using freshly grated nutmeg... *ahem*)
(postscript: needs nuts. pecans, maybe?)

Become present with your actions. Sing if so moved.

Heat oven to 375F while you mindfully peel the apples and try not to break the skin peel coils. Dance between each apple. Stop wanting to be done peeling & slicing. Appreciate each miraculous fruit. Let EarthBalance sit on the pre-heating stove while you peel.

Slice the apples into your greased square baking dish and happily douse them in extra cinnamon.

Stir all other ingredients together, taking it easy on that fresh nutmeg. *ahem*

Sprinkle topping over the apples before you eat it all.

Bake 25ish minutes until topping is golden & apples still have a bit of life, er, I mean crunch, per your preference.

Blog recipe while sipping spiced cider & appreciating the heavenly autumnal baking smell.

Give thanks before taste testing to ensure this recipe is worth retaining.

Take to yoga class & share!

Friday, October 16, 2009

initiated





















"He knows that in this arena of life he has come uncounted times and gone again, through myriad births, that he has enjoyed all the created world has to offer, and that, as he knows the truth "Everything here on earth passes away," nothing more can satisfy him. His wish is now to find and reach that source from which the stream of manifestation flows...


I am a seeker. I seek an explanation for life on earth. I would like to know what sense there is in the fact that a person is born, grows from a child to an adult through all kinds of difficulties, marries, brings forth more children into the world, who also grow up to adults through just as many difficulties... an unending chain, without beginning, without end!

No! It is not possible for life on earth to be so senseless! Behind this seemingly unending chain of birth and death there must be a more profound meaning, even if it seems to be inexplicable for a prejudiced mind.

For throughout all recorded time there have been outstanding people on earth who spoke out with unshakable assurance about the secret of life and even witnessed their conviction with their life - initiates as they have been called. But where and from whom have these 'initiates' received their initiation? And into what were they initiated?

Even today there must be such 'initiates' living on earth, and there must be some way to obtain initiation.

Seek and ye shall find.

I began to seek. Everywhere I could! And I found! Thus my path led me to people with even greater knowledge who explained more and more to me about initiation and about the meaning of life."

- from Initiation by Elisabeth Haich

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

yielding














battered and blown
like leaves that twist & twirl
on the wind
i watch
memories screech by
from my rest stop perch
road weary from miles traveled
i taste the berkshire slushy champagne
smell the mile marker of those niagara grapes
feel the wind pushing and pulling at my progress
in one breath i feel it all
emotions raw & real as first felt
(furious kali wants to shred the ignorance;
compassionate durga wants to hold it all to my breast)
blessed to have this home that cradles me
sacred winter coming to protect me
truth to guide me.
my, but time takes it time!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

close your eyes.

this week: playing in my yoga class near you...













Trevor Hall: had the (yet again! yes! yes! yes!) unexpected! joy of catching this beautiful soul in concert. check him out. download a free track here.

Sunday, October 11, 2009













love this.

Friday, October 9, 2009

fall(ing) up

rainy gray early morning

i cant find the switch to brighten that bulb in the sky

mat beckons

i slide from the warmth of the covers

time to turn up the heat

candle sizzles as it lights

spine sizzles as it straightens

both feet firmly planted

euphoria lights me

(om)mm-mmm

intense gratitude for this path,
c.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

it's a special day!


















it's a special day, and you're invited to the party!

today, (in my yoga class) we're celebrating... our failures!

and thanking for the lessons learned, all the ways we learned not to do it, and the things we learned about ourselves in the process! loving up the hindsight that shows how disastrous all those things we cried for, sweated over, and begged for would have been if those prayers were answered.

how many times did the eventual blessings far exceed the original plea?

thank god for failure!

Thomas Edison (that's him up top) failed thousands of times attempting to create the lightbulb... when asked, his response was:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

love me some Tommy!

Martin Sexton sings a whole song about Failure... here's the chorus gem...

Thank god for failure
And the things I couldn’t do...
For making the dreams that chose me
Come true

New day, new perspective, now whatcha goin' do with the learning?

We're breathin' the same air,
c.
Barn's burnt down—
now
I can see the moon.

- Masahide, 17th/18th century Japanese poet

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

weekend notes


















a spontaneous, truly divinely-inspired weekend.
full rainbows. full moon; everything coming full circle.
notes & quotes & poems & other creative beauties that i want to retain follow...

just keep saying yes.

label that thought, present, past, or future... stay NOW.

Chart a strong course & allow yourself to be beautifully diverted.

Discipline is necessary to be free.

"What you are is what you have been, what you will be is what you do now." - Buddha's Epitaph

Change marks the passage of time. What was is not now and never will be again. Change is what is. - yoga studio weekly inspiration

forgiveness of self, truly sought, is instantly granted.

walking over this earth, feeling & smelling its life, i still catch myself trying to hold my breath, to tread as lightly as possible... laying down, breathing deeply of the richest green, allowing myself to be held... drawn again and again to that pine forest... leaning back against the mighty oak i find silence and start to listen...

put your fire out first.

"If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to go back & try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist. If you run after the person you suspect has burned your house, your house will burn down while you are chasing him or her. That is not wise. You must go back & put the fire out. So when you are angry, if you continue to interact with or argue with the other person, if you try to punish him/her, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arsonist while everything goes up in flames."
-Thich Nhat Hanh on Anger

a divinely inspired poetry reading

Every Movement
by Hafiz

I rarely let the word "No" escape
From my mouth

Because it is so plain to my soul

That God has shouted, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
To every luminous movement in Existence.


Of Course Things Like That Can Happen
by Hafiz

Once God made love to a great saint
Who had a hairy belly.

Of course things like that can happen!

And it was a surprise
Only to the novice on the path
When the saint's stomach began to swell
Just like a woman's.

Weeks went by, then months.
The saint's cheeks
Turned into beautiful roses.
He became like a young bride
Who was carrying a holy child,
And his gratitude was speechless.

But his eyes shone
Like two planets making love.

The town began to stand outside his house
At night, For it had come to the attention of the faithful
That as the moon passed by on its round,
It would sometimes bend over and kiss the roof!

Of course things like that can happen.

Life went on
Amidst the other ten thousand wonders:
Whiskers and weeds and trees and charming babies
Kept emerging.

People and cattle and bees worked side by side,
All sweetly humming,
And, come lunch,
All dined on the same
Mysterious
Divine manna of nourishing Love
Disguised in a thousand shapes, colors and forms.

Galaxies gave away their ingenious ideas
And told us of their private body functions.
So man, too,
Eats, burps and excretes more worlds.

How is it that invisible thoughts can lift heavy matter
And build cities and armies and altars?
All contain a Hidden Strategy
To be transformed again
Into Divine Music and Love and Light!

The sun rolls through
The sky meadows every day,
And a billion cells run
To the top of a leaf to scream and applaud
And smash things in their joy.

Of course things like that can happen.

Rivers stay up all night and chant;
Luminous fish jump out of the water
Spitting emeralds at all talk of Heaven
Being anywhere else but -- Right Here!

Clouds pull each other's pants down
And point and laugh.

O my dear, Of course things like that can happen.

For all is written within the Mind
To help and instruct the dervish
In dance and romance and prayer.
The stars get clearly drunk
And crazy at night
And throw themselves
Across the sky.

Only an insane being or compound
Is not going mad with excitement
At this Wonderful Performance by God!

And still, Light stretches its arms
Open ever more
And shouts to you, because you are
His lover, To forget your harsh actions of the past
And just Dance!

Look!
Angels and flowers
Are playing hooky in graveyards,
Laughing and rolling naked on cool stones.

Why go to sleep tonight
Exhausted from the folly of ignorance,
When even the Beloved is Drunk
And is doing wonderful, ecstatic somersaults
And is giving wild lessons between the sheets
And between His handstands
All up and down the Tavern floor and ceiling!

Indeed,Indeed, things like that can happen.

A few days
Before the delivery of God's baby,
The saint had to visit a city close by
Where few knew him.
He was walking unnoticed past a mosque,

And the shouts of God's lovers
Happened to fill the air,
calling,"Allah, Allah! Where are you?
Where are You, Beautiful One?"

And the child in the womb of the Master
Could not remain silent and shouted back,
In an astounding voice,"I am Here! I am Here -- dear world!"

The crowd in the mosque became frantic,
And they picked up shoes, clubs and stones.
You know what then happened - The story became grim.

But the moon cannot hold a grudge.It still stops by some nights
And leans over this gentle earth, as over a crib,
And gives a full, wet kiss.

For the moon knows
That God is always amorous -He will never stop making Love,
For the Truth has been Divinely Conceived
Deeply within each of us.

O Hafiz,Look at the Splendor of God's Grace:
The Sun has been planted in a thousand furrows
Across every soul's brow.

Of course, my dear, Everything God and I say Can Happen!
The Invitation
By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
There are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal, the unfathomable; life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny; only Being.
- Albert Einstein

a reminder

How to Love Yourself

by Louise Hayes

1. Stop all criticism: Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don't scare yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be gentle and kind and patient: Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you
really loved.

4. Be kind to your mind: Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change the thoughts.

5. Praise yourself: Criticism breaks the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

6. Support yourself: Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends, and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

7. Be loving to your negatives: Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So. lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take care of your body: Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror work: Look into your own eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say: "I love you, I really love you!"

10. LOVE YOURSELF - DO IT NOW! Don't wait until you get well or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin NOW - do the best you can.

(11. Lay the hands - every day - to love and heal it.)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Places That Scare You...

What's with the Dobermans?
Here's the story, per Pema, excerpted from When Things Falls Apart:

The first time I met Trungpa Rinpoche was with a class of fourth graders who asked him a lot of questions about growing up in Tibet and about escaping from the Chinese Communists into India. One boy asked him if he was ever afraid. Rinpoche answered that his teacher had encouraged him to go to places like graveyards that scared him and to experiment with approaching things he didn't like. Then he told a story about traveling with his attendants to a monastery he'd never seen before. As they neared the gates, he saw a large guard dog with huge teeth and red eyes. It was growling ferociously and struggling to get free from the chain that held it. The dog seemed desperate to attack them. As Rinpoche got closer, he could see its bluish tongue and spittle spraying from its mouth. They walked past the dog, keeping their distance, and entered the gate. Suddenly the chain broke and the dog rushed at them. The attendants screamed & froze in terror. Rinpoche turned and ran as fast as he could - straight at the dog. The dog was so surprised that he put his tail between his legs and ran away.

ah, so i imagine this is also where her book title "The Places That Scare You" comes from...