my heart overflows

last night i went to see Amma Karunamayi.

this divine incarnation stood directly in front of me and said "i love you." my heart opened.

once in front of the audience, she greeted the room by saying "my sweet babies. i love each of you thousands of times, millions of times, billions of times, gazillions of times" and giggles. such love. she reminded her audience to take full advantage of this rare human birth, that we are already on the spiritual path, and that the purpose of this life is nothing less than God Realization. she encouraged us to go all the way this time, not to get to 90% & be satisfied but to cultivate so much love for God in our hearts that this is is the life we go the entire way back to merging with One and knowing the Self. she cautioned us to care for Mother Earth, the save water, to help one another... and to treat each other with love and compassion as one peaceful happy family. to acknowledge the divinity that lies in each of us beyond color or gender or nationality and with the same intention, we could not fail at restoring world peace. she led her audience through laughing yoga, brain yoga (grab ear lobes with opposite hand, crossing at elbow, stand up, press legs together, and bend knees, squatting 27 times. you know you want to try it.), and mantra singing. i learned the saraswati mantra. click here to hear her. :)

OM AIM SRIM HRIM SARASWATI DEVYAI NAMAHA

other teachings i recall from atmaV this weekend...

your path must include 3 things...
constantly watching God within
service to others - dedicate this life to serving others, not to obtaining material pursuits.
tapas - discipline to your (meditation) practice

heart overflowing.
bowing with gratitude,
c.

baby cat, take II

in Detroit, i asked him how to surrender?

his response was to be like a baby cat.

sharon gannon and david life, founders of Jivamukti Yoga, expound on this in their book:

"There are 2 paths to the attainment of Yoga: the path of effort & the path of grace - maryada marga & pushti marga. Marga means path. Maryada describes the soul looking for a system to follow to gain enlightenment, and pushti describes the soul that simply surrenders everything to God.

The difference between maryada marga & pushti marga is illustrated by the old Indian tale of the baby monkey and the baby cat. When a baby monkey becomes separated from his mother, he will race around, swinging through trees looking for her. He is determined to find her. When he does finally find the mother, he grabs her body & holds on for dear life, and the two, united, go swinging through the trees. But when the kitten becomes separated from her mother she stays put. She does not run around looking for her mother. The kitten stays and cries out, "Meow Maaaaaa." The kitten calls until the mother hears her. The mother comes to the kitten, picks her up by the scruff of the neck, and the two go off happily to snuggle.

The monkey is on the maryada marga, the path of effort. The kitten trusts the mother and by chanting her name, continuously gets her to come to the rescue. The kitten is on pushti marga, the path of grace.

Patanjali's 8-limbed system is predominantly a maryada marga, an effortful path, but the last 2 limbs - dhynana (meditation) and samadhi (enlightenment) - cannot be attained through effort. They are the result of grace. Yet is it only through intense effort that we can prepare ourselves to receive such grace."

proufound gratitude to the mother cat that heard my cries and found me.
Jai Guru!
c.

(re)dedicated

reflections after 3 weeks on retreat, or remembrances of forgotten teachings, more like:

dedication. oh yeah. i seem to have forgotten about that. got kinda caught up in the mind & started drifting from my physical practice. recall that practice means every day, regardless of mood, weather, circumstance. every day until their is no longer discernible difference between days & until the body overtakes the mind's kvetching that body is sore, too weak, tired, etc. no more mind limiting body.

at same time, less strict with myself. being on retreat means understanding there is nothing to do except be there & taking the experience in stride. so returning home shouldnt mean constantly analyzing where i should be at, what i should be doing, and obsessing over this. being home should be the same experience... be here now, take the experience in stride, do what needs to be done & look for opportunity to improve or help. calmness. acceptance.

im still scared of greatness. *sigh* im scared of amazing relationships... divine ones, human ones... terrified. the minute the beauty starts, so does my self-sabotaging inner critic. must detach & let all of them happen... approaching the divine relationship with gratitude, humbleness, and a continued commitment to repeatedly show up & see what happens. also learning to approach human relationships w/ the same attitude i approach difficult yoga asanas... ive been here before, i havent hit the pose before, this could be the day i get it - or not - and so i will keep on. detached.

dedication to commit to my present actions & do best to make present actions positive. previous actions having gotten me where i am, dedicating to right action in hopes of optimal future placement and growth. but again, detached.

dedication to the buddhist mindset of taking action as though my action really matters & really changes the world & then laughing to think that my actions really matter at all. detachment.

dedication to practices that allow me to experience God... and the firm acknowledgment that this is why - the ONLY why - that i partake in them.

dedication that the only reason i am alive is to know God. everything else is a detail.

dedication to this path i find myself on. acknowledging that its more severe than might be fitting for most, but that it works for me, that i love & ultimately enjoy it, and that i feel it infinitely valuable and worthwhile for my time & efforts. an end to the analysis & a commitment forward. gratitude.

with dedication,
c.

"In true freedom and happiness we like whatever we do, but we do not always do whatever we like." - Swami Nirmalananda