give me strength

With love you don't bargain
there, the choice is not yours.
Love is a mirror, it reflects
only your essence,
if you have the courage
to look in its face.

--Rumi , "Whispers of the Beloved"

"Manifest plainness.
Embrace simplicity.
Reduce selfishness.
Have few desires."
-Lao-tzu

welcome kleansers!

so i heard there is a new crop of kleansers in cleveland - and that you might be perusing thee old blog. welcome & congrats.

my almost a year later cleanse ruminations:
- do it. lean on the other people doing it too.
- don't waste time thinking you're nuts & just (see above)
- keep a journal or a blog (to share w/ & support the other kleansers) b/c you'll learn a lot about your self & your body during this time... like when you re-read your posts almost a year later & observe how LOUD your mind was ;)

finally: i've recently been reading about the Ayurvedic cleanse called panchakarma. the most notable thing about panchakarma is that it is meant to deeply relax the body. stress is viewed as the most harmful experience for our body to phyically undergo & the thought is that the cells can release deep aspects of built-up toxins, relatively quickly, in a relaxed state. what this means when you're kleansing: chill out! withdraw when you feel it. allow yourself respite - as much as possible - from your daily routine & acknowledge & have patience with the aspects of the routine you can't deviate from... dont be stressed that you can't relax. ;)

here if you need me,
c.

an open letter to Bikram

Dear Mr. Bikram,

I'm sure you've received many letters like this in the course of your teaching. I hate to hate Bikram yoga like I do & I thought it might help alleviate some of my guilt if I wrote you about my experience.

I think your series of yoga poses (shown above) look very easy. In fact, I think I would even ENJOY doing them in a warm room... but the 100+F degrees is a bit much, don't you think?

I have a cold so I figured I should intentionally raise my heat before a fever kicked in to do it for me, so I went last night. I really want to like it. I really did not want to almost puke & have to leave in the middle of the standing series. The teacher & her English accent were so cute... but her screaming was not. Do you teach your instructors to YELL such things like "until your back hurts, elbows hurt, knees hurt, LOCK THE KNEES" Where's the nurture? All that screaming is just waaaay to intense for me. I like my yoga classes encouraging... but not encouraging me to hurt myself. Now I know you've taught for decades to my few years, but I do think that willingly hurting oneself is very far removed from where I - and most of western society - need to be. Lastly, her comment at the end of the class about how it's normal to feel nauseated & dizzy... and how it teaches discipline & determination... I dunno about that either. I learn plenty of discipline and determination trying to make myself sit still. So I'm left considering that maybe I'm just not tough enough, and maybe it gets easier... or maybe I was just too sick for Bikram class... Though I will say, that I thought it was pretty cool in standing forward bend to observe my knees sweating.

Thank you to you & your trained drill sergeant teachers.

Respectfully,
c.

ode to ganesh

Ganesh

Ganesh's Mantra:
Aum Gan Ganapatye Namah
(Om Gan Gan-A-Pot-Tie-Yea Na-ma-ha)

my unsophisticated version of Background on Ganesh for those who have no idea why i'm posting pics of blue elephants...

gahesh is the hindu deity (contrary to deprecating beliefs... hindu mythology believes that their 10,000+ deities are all various components of ONE god... hooray!) believed to be the Remover of Obstacles. folks pray to ganesh before undertaking new ventures, asking him to clear the way. he's also viewed as the first stop in the heirarchy of the gods, believed to purify us for higher pathways ("higher" gods - but instead of viewing this as selective, i view it as intensity... sort of like crawling before you walk... b'c one has to do the work & preparation before entering higher areas.) i appreciate this approach b/c it's much easier sometimes to have a divine relationship when you have aspects like raging destructionist Kali or fiery hot Shiva or mothering Durga to give you a sense that god understands what you're going through...

not to mention: he's a good friend to have when ushering in a New Year

his mantra is in my head lately and i've been playing different versions of it in my classes. i've been asking him to take my junk & i sense his protection. i cant explain why i sense him there... but i do... to the point that people have seen him around me and asked what is going on. hehe

im reminded of a story a friend of a friend told me on his way through Cleveland, over a pint at the Lincoln Pub... he was driving on an especially bad weather night in his junky red car, praying to ganesh to help him through... when he was suddenly certain that this massive blue partying elephant was riding on the top of his car, giving him added weight & traction as he suddenly started navigating beautifully & flying by other cars on the road. i still maintain the mental image of both of them, arms waving, screaming & laughing madly, driving wildly...

don't bring last year's junk into the Now. release it. offer it up. purify.
c.

p.s. coming soon: New Years pics from Kripalu!