accidentally on purpose

everything is already ok. stephen cope


it's ok.
look at what we've got going for us...

fresh green waxy leaves
flowers that smell so sweet you can taste it
eating well & feeling nutrition seeping into your cells
watching firemen race into buildings for others
cloudless blue skies
bright energizing early morning light
deep breaths of fresh cool air
sunlight that seems just as happy to see you
chubby baby fingers reaching from old fashioned prams
music that swells the heart "i believe in the miracle"

tangent: someone sent me an email that mentioned 'there is no soundtrack to life' and i wondered if they were deaf... i often pause & reflect on the soundtrack of my life - which is most lively. 2 birds sitting on the roof peak facing each other and chattering away this morning, their human-like mannerisms and head tilts making me laugh out loud. thunder. traffic. street musicians. the sound of my breath. (feel this very breath move. hear it. right now. marvel.)

life has truly become practice. remaining calm and patient. letting things unfold. trusting. surrendering. *big exhale* life is so much easier when i don't try to control every last detail. and the world keeps turning. sometimes it is as easy as deciding to change my mind.

"this is it."

last night, someone said someone had 'done it on purpose...' and my mind spiraled off. what a good thing! shouldnt we aim to do most things 'on purpose'? dont i want to live my whole life on purpose - or in keeping with my purpose? otherwise, what's the point?

live purposefully.
c.

wednesday ruminations

courtesy of Rob Brezsny... i offer you the following...

"...I think it's worthwhile to consider the possibility that suffering is a gift God gives us in order to prod our evolution. On a personal level, your longing to escape your suffering is a primal force in making you smarter. On a collective level, nothing refines and ennobles us more than our passion to keep others from suffering. "

hmm... suffering as vehicle...? why else would we change...?

next... beautiful expression of Nature disconnect in our modern world...

"We want to be God in all the ways that are not the ways of God, in what we hope is indestructible or unmoving. God is the most fragile, a bare smear of pollen, that scatter of yellow dust from the tree that tumbled over in a storm of grief and planted itself again.

These are our tasks: Learn the secret language of light again. Also the letters of the dark. Learn the flight patterns of birds, the syllables of wolf howl and bird song, the moving pantomime of branch and leaf, valleys and peaks of whale calls, the long sentences of ants moving in unison, the combinations and recombinations of clouds, the codices of stars. Let us thus, reconstitute the world, sign by sign and melody by melody.

Let us sing the world back into the very Heart of the Holy Name of God."
-Deena Metzger, "Prayers for a Thousand Years"


c.

cleanse sunset

if this blog was a library book, i'd have crazy overdue fines by now!
but i've good reasons...
big life changes... regarding where i call home, career direction, etc. that i cant fully disclose yet as i am
eyes and hands turned skyward
waiting
listening
senses attuened
for that nudge.

so, perhaps long awaited and much overdue, here are my closing thoughts on the cleanse...
i developed new good habits and learned powerful lessons about what i put in my body, how i view food, and my priorities regarding nutrition and time/life balance. (yes, i now stay up later than i should cooking, preparing, ensuring i have goodness to eat the following day(s) - and apparently, blogging).
i successfully experimented w/ eating raw, vegan, juicing... learned a whole lot about my body, hormones, and how my eating habits thus far in life have crafted this body & these emotions.
i am now a food zealot. relax, i only pontificate if asked. i (try to) pack & carry healthy food everywhere i go. i can now sustain outrage and long-winded argue the tragedy that is readily available packaged & overly preserved food in the richest nation on earth. i experienced making a more determined transition to buying organic... i ate out less. i drank once. i paid less attention to the news. i lived selfishly and introspectively. i shunned loud situations and men. actually saved money, while buying the most pristine, beautiful, natural sustenance i could, with background news reporting prices of rice spiking hundreds of %s. again, i evaluated why me and gave profound thanks for my luxury and wealth as an employed american. i watched gas prices spike even higher and contemplated the mileage behind those organic californian strawberries i splurged on throughout the month. (cover your eyes here...) i found a homemade substitute for milk (almond mylk) and continue to watch the amount of mucus (ewwww...) that occurs the day after i eat the slightest bit of cheese (the only dairy im now consuming). i gave up ice cream. and bakery. and cookies. and brownies. ohmy. i did. ive moved closer to being jewish ;) in terms of cultivating the body Temple. i ruminated on the sanctity of food - the purest, easiest form of nourishment that we receive in this human existence. and i secretly wish to be a waitress so i can bless and deliver nourishment to the general public. one day my imagination might supercede my reality... ;)

thanks for joining me on the ride thus far. i think i will continue random postings. i need an outlet for those soul-quivering lessons, expression for fleeting moments of beauty and Greatness, and a gratitude space for all that i have been given, as well as a place to thank all those who motivate, encourage, and pick me up. we're in this together. interdependence.

dont hold back,
c.

p.s. feel good, heart-swelling, tear-inducing song of the day, coming soon to my yoga class near you: Better People by Xavier Rudd off his White Moth album