Tuesday, April 22, 2008

happy earth day (day 22)




















perhaps the last of the dalai lama installments for awhile...

"We are also being drawn together by the grave problems we face: overpopulation, dwindling natural resources, and an environmental crisis that threatens our air, water, and trees, along with the vast number of beautiful life forms that are the very foundation of existence on this small planet we share. I believe that to meet the challenge of our times, human beings will have to develop a greater sense of universal responsibility. Each of us must learn to work not just for his or her own self, family or nation, but for the benefit of all mankind. Universal responsibility is the real key to human survival. It is the best foundation for world peace, the equitable use of natural resources and, through concern for future generations, the proper care of the environment...

... in general I feel optimistic about the future. The rapid changes in our attitude toward the earth are also a source of hope. As recently as a decade ago, we thoughtlessly devoured the resources of the world, as if there were no end to them. We failed to realize that unchecked consumerism was disastrous for both the environment and social welfare. Now, individuals and governments are seeking a new ecological and economic order.

I often joke that the moon and the stars look beautiful, but if any of us tried to live on them we would be miserable. This blue planet of ours is a delightful habitat. Its life is our life; its future our future. Indeed the earth acts like a mother to all. Like children, we are dependent. In the face of such global problems as the greenhouse effect and depletion of the ozone layer, individual organizations and single nations are helpless. Unless we all work together, no solution can be found. Our mother earth is teaching us a lesson in universal responsibility.

...because of the lessons we have begun to learn, the next century will be friendlier, more harmonious and less harmful. Compassion, the seeds of peace, will be able to flourish. I am very hopeful. At the same time I believe that every individual has a responsibility to help guide our global family in the right direction. Good wishes alone are not enough; we have to assume responsibility. Large human movements spring from individual human initiatives." - HHDL

i think i've referenced here before: a friend of mine says that some people have 'the fire' [to work for betterment, etc.] and some people don't. i am conscious that i have the fire, and nowadays, i attempt to cultivate it. but sometimes, i slip. and when i do, it is so meaningful to me to know that there are others like me, in my city and in others across the nation and the world, striving for goodness. i drove to work today truly feeling a part of something greater. for you who so recently provided me that synergistic boost, as you have before, thank you again. may you know how much it means. i look forward to doing likewise for you and for others, when needed.

cleanse commercial of the day: someone couldn't figure out why i looked so different today and asked why i was glowing. the cleanse has totally revamped my diet. simply put: good, whole, healthy food. i saved them the speech, but knew the cause. (very) personally, i believe that my diet was not in harmony with the practices and the purifications i undertake. ive become more and more sensitive to what i put in my body & it finally began manifesting in unavoidable external ways so it was time for a change. one more step on my integrative journey, i guess. and kate is right, just when it becomes effortless - habit-forming in my case - it nears its end. here's to the 8 days i have remaining!

in unity and peace,
c.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

the meaning of life (days 19 & 20)
















hyacinths, forsythia, daffodils, oh my! the world is in bloom. i came home to find my house surrounded by all kinds of spring flowers and blooming trees! wow. that said, this recap is hard for me to write. im very introspective and deep in it right now as a result of all i learned this weekend. best shot while it's fresh:

rewind: thursday night - i went to yoga class the night before i left for ann arbor and the teacher was questioning when in life we cease being childlike... when we start comparing our performance, begin caring how how we look, what other people think... etc. she encouraged us to re-create that child-like curiosity and glee during our practice. i was reminded of her lesson several times this weekend, b/c i can honestly report - His Holiness the Dalai Lama possesses that child-like glee. he is soooo unbelievably happy. he radiates the same joy and happiness that make adults smile at children. everyone just grins at him. it's absolutely contagious. he's 73 and he hasn't lost his child-like radiance yet!

the above pic is the visor he donned when he got into the meat of the teachings b/c the stage lights were so bright. he is so cute. i dont normally use the word 'cute' - especially to describe senior Teachers... but this man is so undeniably cute.

ok, so to the meat. per the usual, the beauty is his, the mistakes are mine.

Engaging Wisdom & Compassion

he greeted the audience saturday and sunday in english. there are numerous monks who sit around him on stage and he reads and teaches to them in tibetan - with about 8,000 eavesdropping americans - pausing to let the english translator pick up. and boy, was the translator amazing! he would translate 10 minutes of intense teaching at a time! it made your head spin! initially, i started to mentally freak out... this is so intense! these teachings are serious! im not ready for this! ahhhh! im never gonna get anything out of this! so i gave up. and it all flooded in.

Dalai Lama Lesson #1: Don't Try So Hard.

we covered 2 buddhist texts: Commentary on Awakening Mind and In Praise of Dependant Origination. it's intense fascinating theory and im not going to go into detail here on the highlights reel...

i was reassured that the first teaching makes direct reference to a yogi's efforts at mastering one's own mind. hooray! familiar territory! Lesson # 2: its all the same...

but the highlight of the weekend, that i really want to share with you, was during his response to a question during this morning's Q&A session, which he answered in english...

(i point this out b/c the Dalai laughs and jokes in tibetan while giving discourse on the ancient, rather obscure teachings. the translator, much to my chagrin, did not interject the same humor and laughter in his translation, so you were left wondering what was so funny... once again how i wished i was multi-lingual!)

Lesson #3: Verbal communication entails much more than words

so i find it no coincidence that my most intense learning experiences arose when he taught in english. saturday, the Dalai Lama cautioned the audience against jumping on the buddhist train (ive heard him say this many times before.) he feels its best for us to remain in the religion that is closest to our culture. you could feel the audience's anguish. so this morning, one of the anonymous questions pertained to a person's dissatisfaction w/ their birth faith and their desire to follow the buddhist tradition but they were reticent based on his caution and asked for further clarification. this is his response (paraphrased)...

regardless of religion, our day to day life should be happy. inner peace. happiness. satisfaction. that's the real purpose of our life. whether there's a God or not, we're here. this is fact. and as human beings, we want to be happy, this is fact. external stimuli do not produce inner peace. cultivate inner peace. an altruistic mind is the source of all goodness. we want to live a long and healthy life. and we are social animals and will live among others. LIVE FRIENDLY. friendliness and affection breed trust. when you have trust with others, you have people with whom to share your troubles and get help. w/o these things, you will remain lonely inside. money, power, physical strength wont bring friendliness, which brings true happiness. everyone wants to be happy. be "wise selfish" not "foolish selfish." be truly affectionate and friendly to others. care about them. this is "wise selfish." foolish selfish is caring only about yourself. cultivate an altruistic heart. by our human birth, we all have the same potential. its up to us.

so yes, i cried. quite a bit. but i still managed to pay attention. ;)

i am humbled,
c.

p.s. began Walden. can't put it down.

p.p.s. why are birds SO loud before they go to bed?

one more p.s cleanse on the road did pretty well. exhaustion fading, energy returning. found a whole foods in ann arbor and made all kinds of yummy raw concoctions. i admit - i like raw. a lot. i'm spending the remainder of the cleanse month learning how to integrate all these new substitutions and yummy recipes ive learned into my daily life. its all a process. these next 2 weeks are pure transition.

Friday, April 18, 2008

cleanse goes on the road (day 18)













i'm packed! my mind that is... packed full of things that need to blow out the top of the car. i leave today for a weekend spent receiving teachings from the Dalai Lama. i get choked up about the spiritual opportunities ive been granted. early on, i questioned Why Me? my doubt has matured into knock down, drag out AWE. it's been my experience that when initially in the presence of a spiritual master, i start to cry. such love and acceptance radiates from these beings that it gets right through all the armor. i keep pinching myself: i am going to receive teachings from the Dalai Lama himself! the being that millions of people on this planet revere as the reincarnation of Buddha! i don't know why me. but i promise to do my best to stop bawling and learn as much as i can on Wisdom & Compassion for everyone's benefit.

Dedication of Merit
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings never be parted from freedom's true joy.
May all beings dwell in equanimity, free from attachment and aversion.

i received an email yesterday that said this:

I am aware that a group of Chinese Students have applied for permission to stage a demonstration during this weekend's teaching. We support all non-violent expression of free speech and expect anyone attending the teaching to respect that right of expression without confrontation. We do not anticipate these demonstrations to interfere with any of our programs.
-Galek Rinpoche, founder of Jewelheart

and this:

The hosting of the Olympic games this year is a matter of great pride to the 1.2 billion Chinese people. I have from the very beginning supported the holding of these Games in Beijing. My position on this remains unchanged. I feel the Tibetans should not cause any hindrance to the Games. It is the legitimate right of every Tibetan to struggle for their freedoms and rights. On the other hand, it will be futile and not helpful to anyone if we do something that will create hatred in the minds of the Chinese people. On the contrary, we need to foster trust and respect in our hearts in order to create a harmonious society, as this cannot be built on the basis of force and intimidation. - His Holiness Dalai Lama

wow. i feel firmly on the side of Truth... which further reminds me of this:

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall - think of it, ALWAYS." -Gandhi

Patty Griffin, one of my favorite singers, has a line in her song Big Love that i'm reminded of on days like toay: "Today my heart is big and sore. It's tryin' to push right through my skin."

In all that is Good and True,
c.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

power vs. force (days 15 & 16)














on why i prefer to call it cleanse, not detox...

"Gandhi won in his struggle because his position was one of far greater power. The British Empire represented force, and whenever force meets power, force is eventually defeated...
The difference between treating and healing is that in the former, the context remains the same, whereas in the latter, the clinical response is elicted by a change of context so as to bring about an absolute removal of the cause of the condition rather than mere recovery from its symptoms." - David Hawkins

thus why i prefer to think about cleansing the junk out permanently and learning to replace it w/ better, as opposed to detoxifying my body, which to me has a temporary connotation. seriously, ive been sensitive to which of the 2 words to use since this all began. i read the above and it clicked.

im finding a 3-day weekday juice fast to be most challenging as im having a ridiculously stressful work week and the juice isnt providing enough "juice" for my taxed body while im at work... so both day 1 and day 2 ive taken (3) 16-oz juice concoctions to work (which have been very good!) and eaten dinner when i got home. but im so strong and determined in the morning! perhaps if i was a realist instead of an idealist, i would eat a sensible breakfast and juice the remainder of the day, instead of taxing my stomach before sleep. is my professional situation more demanding than other peoples' who have successfully done this cleanse per the directions, or am i just worse at coping. regardless of the answer, its where im at. :(

once again, how i wish i could find 30 days to focus on just this cleanse, reading, and my physical practice!!! noticing the sunshine only when racing from the car into a building for a meeting is not sufficient.

overtaxed ;),
c.

Monday, April 14, 2008

i find the cure for ice cream! (day 14)

i think they'll give me a Nobel prize for this...
or i can talk about it during my speech when they give me the Nobel for something else...
i found the cure for ice cream!
more on this later...

i went to ashtanga class tonite and felt like a 4th grader. it was hilarious to me! sitting in full lotus and trying to cram my arms through my legs started it all off... when we got to the pose called cuckoo i almost laughed louder than ever in my whole life. i skipped a lot of the flow between poses. it allows me to focus more on the actual series of poses (which im still learning) b/c it saves my strength. so Big Fat Load won out over the Overachiever but it was a tough fight, full of much mental criticism. i've blown my shoulders for days after every ashtanga class ive ever done... with the exception of tonite. thank you Big Fat Load! (anyone know how many chatturangas in the primary series? how 'bout lots!) i practiced next to kate, so my load-ness should have succeeded in making her feeling all talented & svelte. when my mind wasn't at war w/ itself, i was dreaming of ice cream. whatever happened to my focused yoga mind? i get on the mat now and food demons come up.

side story: i appreciate that adage that if you look for information to support any argument, you'll find it. i read an article in yesterday's sunday paper (which of course i can't locate by searching cleveland.com) that talks about how if you are determinedly working to improve willpower in one area of your life, it will slip in other areas. thank you scientists. i havent been as disciplined in other areas of my life while ive been busy competing for Ms. Raw Martha Stewart 2008.

back to my amazing discovery: i came home and wanted CHOCOLATE or ICE CREAM or anything sweet and creamy. uh-oh. tomorrow starts juice day. so i juiced a cucumber. it was amazing!!! and i got so excited about juicing... im not going to spend hours everyday prepping and thinking about food. my counter is clear again! look!










but i still wanted chocolate. my brain never forgot the top-shelf cupboard depths where i stashed the last of the ghirardelli choc chips. so i ate ONE. it was disgusting. the sugar was so sweet in a very bad way - it tasted acrid. hooray!!! i hate sugar! but i still wanted something... so i went back to Ani. im gonna become best friends with this girl. she is awesome!

cacao pudding my way

1/2 c. almonds to 1/4 c. water
blend/process
add ~1/8 c. shredded coconut, 1.5 pitted dates, and 1/2 tbs cocoa
process
put in freezer for a few
eat amazing version of raw(enough) ice cream.
mmmmm!

cuckoo for (raw-ish) cocoa pudding,
c.

p.s. to you who gave me pitted dates in a hospital lab specimen bag (they look like roaches) for just such a sugar emergency - thank you! you saved the night!

don't quit minutes before the miracle (days 12 &13)

the weekend was a bit physically and mentally rough. major cravings, mostly girl-inspired in nature but with a bit of im-going-to-starve-to-death-on-juice thrown in. being given time to contemplate the next cleanse step before it happens and watching the reactions is really interesting and the group meeting is very helpful to work through it. i wanted to be alone alone alone and managed that most of the weekend. very introspective. not much patience for drama or idle chatter.

spiritually, i love this experience (all of it AND the cleanse! ;) there is an intensity emerging that is a bit startling. i was Intense Yoga Teacher this weekend. i was very much able to get out of the way and be open to something Greater while i was teaching. it led to some of my students having very intense experiences of their own and they were marveling and wonderous on their way out. whatever happens during the yoga process is fascinating indeed. even more so that everyone has their own unique experience. i was so tired this weekend that i didnt get out to other yoga classes other than the ones i taught and i really missed it. i have yoga buzz w/in seconds of class starting now and it is sustained all evening long. a side effect of unadulterated oxygen when the body is clean, perhaps?

i took one meal off raw this weekend b/c after thinking about it for days, i decided my body needed it. i did it right - cloth napkins, the whole bit. made it a conscious eating exercise as opposed to succumbing to a craving. the food tasted as amazing as i had fantasized. didnt make me sick or shock my system at all. it was warm and made me satiated and pleasantly full. good exercise in recognizing what the body needed and how positively it reacted when it was provided. im doing raw today & going to start juice tonite.

i went and saw shakespeare's all's well that ends well performed live yesterday. i was so amazed by (all that memorization!) his genius as a playwright on my way out of the theater. it was written so many years ago and yet it's still so relevant AND entertaining... yet today, my yoga brain pipes up that it was written hundreds of years ago and human nature has yet to evolve beyond petty human nature & self-created drama in all that time? makes me fearful that these heinous apocalyptic dramas starring will smith will still be watched in hundred years time? ;)

i have to post one of the recipes i couldn't get enough of this weekend. its a "scramble" from Ani Phyo, a raw chef. i think its a great egg salad replacement. her book also lists the nutritional info, which is impressive in a good way.

Love-the-Chicks Pate from Ani Phyo (click for pic and more info)

2 c. dry raw almonds
1 c. dry raw sunflower seeds
2 tsps tumeric (i know it sounds like a lot. but its so good! don't scrimp!)
1/2 tsp sea salt (buy sea salt, not iodized salt. big taste diff! eat ocean!)
1/2 c. water.

food process dry; then add water.

you can stir in sesame seeds, peppers, tomatoes and other yummy vegs. if you can stop eating it w/ a spoon out of the food processor long enough to wrap it in big lettuce leaves, its yummy yummy! great summer meal that will definitely be sticking around for me.

another interesting one of hers i tried b/c i like milk in principle but not in reality is her Almond Mylk. it's neither cow nor soy - perfect for me! i changed it a bit so im going to put the recipe i used and you can click the link for her original:

Almond Mylk

1/2 c. almonds
1/2 of one pitted date (i should have used 1 or 1.5 dates but i dont want lots of sweet...)
1/2 vanilla bean, dried
pinch sea salt
~4 cups water

put in blender for a really long time.

c.'s note: almond particulates abound. may want to strain. how fun are tiny vanilla bean seeds in my milk. mmmm.

bring on the juice,
c.

p.s. gold star of the day goes to you who provided me with the above title. thanks.

Friday, April 11, 2008

a teeny light (day 11)




















last night i found the one remaining cell of my being that wanted to continue with the cleanse... that really wanted to respect this process & truly give it my best effort. not sure what that says for my likelihood to continue eating so beautifully when i no longer have a cleanse goal, but that's not very present minded of me, is it?

i skipped my late afternoon piece of fruit yesterday... partially on accident, and partially to see what would happen. what happened is i realized how much i still rely on it to get thru the evening! my experiments are never-ending. (p.s. science fair update: i love sprouted lentils! they're crunchy with water, like green peppers. much better than the mush that results whenever i try to cook them.)

i have been almost constantly exhausted since day 3, but just today, im starting to catch fleeting glimpses of steady strong energy on the other side - similar to fleeting amazing meditation experiences. such momentary glimpses of Greatness are much appreciated motivation for keeping me on this path... which truly just keeps getting better and better.

future-minded all over the place today.
shanti (peace),
c.