i love to go to FL in may and in september... when i can experience summer before it comes north and have a repeat performance and a bit more sunshine before it's gone. im heading off for a weeklong meditation retreat on monday in homestead, FL. check out this aerial of homestead. i love how the built environment just ends and there's nothing but swamp... like when i got lost in houma, LA. you know i'll be driving around in the everglades. nothing like bugs the size of your fist bouncing off the windshield! ;)
this is the daiy schedule for my "vacation"
5:30am - Meditation
7:30am - Breakfast & Clean-up Seva / Announcements
8:30am - Seva
9:00am - Class
10:30am - Meditation
12:15pm - Lunch and Clean-up Seva
2:00pm - Rest and Private Study
4:45pm - Class
5:45pm - Break
6:00pm - Class
7:00pm - Meditation
8:15pm - Dinner and Clean-up Seva
9:30pm - Retire
(seva means "selfless service" or weeding the flowerbeds and doing meal dishes ;)
now you know why i giggle when people tell me to "have a nice vacation!"
and it will be nice, mainly because my meditation and meal times are so structured. the food is vegetarian, very little dairy - only yogurt and milk at breakfast. no eggs, hardly any sugar. i go through wicked detox, am miserable the first 3 days of such a routine, and i am blissful and happy by the time i leave from such structure, love, good food, and consistent schedule. i also sleep A TON.
last time i went, i stayed at the ashram. this time i'm staying at a hotel, which will make the whole transition a bit easier mentally b/c i get to come and go. i won't feel stuck there. nor will i have the odd feeling i had last time after emerging from a week of such shelter and finding myself dumped curbside at the airport. i wanted to cower behind a trash can.
i also had another giggle upon seeing seva on the schedule. the word seva has been hanging on my frig for a month, encouraging "selfless service" in my life. last time i stayed at the ashram, i hardly did any seva b/c it was such a new experience for this body that it slept about 14 hours a day. imagine me emerging from the air conditioned women's sleeping shed and stepping around some muddy lady weeding in the 95 degree heat. yes, once again in this environment, i am the new one, the little kid, the baby. doesnt seem that anyone minds. i made it to 530am meditation every morning too! and was sleeping soundly in the fetal position in the middle of the meditation hall by 6am... O:) i made it there every day, and managed to stay awake about 5 minutes longer each day. imagine the beautiful dreams that you have in the midst of a group of people praying. the dreams almost made up for my embarrassment. maybe this time i'll make it through a whole morning session. it's glorious afterwards to emerge from the meditation room to a pink sunrise and the sweetest smelling flowers.
im making all these other plans mentally for my rental car and i - mapping yoga studios (this is seated meditation only, no yoga asana practice), parks, beaches, swamps, etc. and i have a feeling when i am once again in the presence of this smiling monk (above) who i have fallen together with as his student, i will be dying to be with him and in his presence as much as possible.
this is really the least mainstream part of my life. the one that if you havent ever heard me talk about before, it was because i wasnt strong enough to endure your incredulity at how bizarre it all is. thats changed.
the experience of being in the presence of one who you KNOW sees all your junk, reads all your thoughts, and loves you anyways is an amazing humbling human experience. when he glances at you and answers your immediate thought in one sentence, and then goes back to offering you food off his plate while you blubber and bawl... it's indescribable. why me? i dunno. but its part of the soul contract that has emerged... where i sign on for wickedly stressful work that taxes my physical body in exchange for such teachings.
after locking up my neck this week from stress, and spending days whimpering with barely any range of motion in my shoulder and neck, im emerging from that, and looking forward to being unplugged for a week. my body shut down. it showed me it had enough. now im trying to mend. i've resumed my normal vibration when meditating. i get scared when i realize i pack so much distraction on top of it that i obscure it, but it always returns, and a bit stronger each time it does.
nothing but gratitude out of this wounded soldier. talk to you in a week. be good. ;)
c.
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