Monday, October 26, 2009

gaze straight ahead














Beginning Anew by Thich Nhat Hanh
"Beginning anew means being determined not to repeat the negative things we have done in the past. A new era begins when we commit ourselves to living in mindfulness. When we vow to ourselves, "I am determined not to behave as I did in the past," transformation occurs immediately."

last week's class focus on choices took me on a wild ride. if you missed it live and in person, join me as i re-visit... i promise incomplete sentence structure & a constant variation between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person. ;) be warned that it gets harsh. recall that this is my own repository of thought progression. i make it public hoping but not promising that... may it be of benefit.

it begins by showing up. *deep breath* by getting present in this very moment. making a conscious decision to SHOW UP & bring all parts of you HERE, including the parts of you stuck in past/future thoughts, the parts of your brain still engaging in that conversation you just had or WANT to have...

tune in to the breath. the breath acts as the doorway to bring you to this very moment.

harnessing all of ourselves sets the mindful stage for our practice... allowing space to look at those things we dont want to, to face what we dont necessarily want to see or acknowledge, and also to get to know the beautiful bits, the juicy parts, the glowing life that makes us each unique.

showing up & bringing ALL of ourselves - our junk, our skills & talents, are inherent goodness - is what creates the sangha or spiritual community. a group of like-minded people, gathering together to sort out this thing called life, and offer support to one another on our journeys.

when we live in our truth, we start trusting ourselves. when we live from this place, we trust that we are doing our best... and so we are able to trust that we are making the best choices we know how, moment to moment. living, breathing, & functioning from this place allows us to trust that there are no right or wrong decisions. regret & remorse vanish, replaced with forgiveness ("there is a lot of freedom in forgiveness" - Cheyne) and acceptance.

life is a series of choices. we don't suddenly find ourselves in poor health, overweight, in debt, or having broken the fidelity in our own relationships or not having honored the commitments another has made in theirs. besides lottery winners, most of the envied, successful, healthy, happily-married people we encounter have not landed there simply by luck. regardless of your reality, i'm willing to bet you worked quite diligently to get there - rather you were mindful of your actions or not. society often extols the good life while ignoring the work it takes, & then lets lets us off the hook for our circumstances, failing to remind us that most often it was a series of choices that got us to the place where life is no longer bearable. the teachings gently guide us back to the true path, and our sangha stands witness, as we set about making better choices that will allow our life situations to again be breathe-able.

the beauty is inherent. we have the option - at any moment - to show up and make our best choice. this realization is not always easy, not always pleasant... but the rewards are infinite.

talking about this for over a week carried my own private mental evaluation from a macro level to the subtle layers. what started out as did i make the right choice about life decisions... moving, relationships, work... landed me in the present moment... and i started to directly experience how the thoughts i choose to think, the words i choose to say, the moment-to-moment actions i choose to take, immediately define my experience... and the effect my momentary choices combine to have on my mood, my energy, my next thought. my mind is like a muddy field after a truck pull, so criss-crossed with the tracks of habitual samskaras. i see the path forward and it is both gradual & crystal clear. but i'm rooted HERE, NOW & that's enough.

Gurudev: i begrudingly admit that as always you are correct: our troubles are blessings.
c.

No comments: